Monday, 15 October 2007

Blonde Bash 5

Got back from Cardiff Sunday night..what an amazing weekend. Was quality all round. Started off with it somehow taking us 8 hours to get there, after me and Sledge forgot our ID and went back, got lost in Bradford, then set off from our original starting place 2 hours later. We then get half way there, and Sledge turns the heavenly music down and goes ' theres sumat up guys', Me and Jones are like STFU, get on with driving you old bastard. He then pulls over on the hard shoulder really concerned. At this point im pretty sure its a heavenly level or hes just being the uber noob he is,lol. But we get out and look at tyres etc and everything was fine. So we get back in the car and carry on driving and think to ourselves ''what a fucking douche''.

2 Mins later, he comes out with, were guna have to stop guys, theres definately something wrong. So we see a turn off with a pub and pull over next to it. By the time we stop we can smell the ridic burning smell coming from the tyre and the front tyre is flat as anything. Sledge and me clearly have no idea, and Jones only has a tiny clue of what to do and starts jacking the car up but may aswell have just being jacking his dick off. We then come to the conclusion we can't get the tyre from under the car and decide the RAC is the best option for us. So sledge fucks off down the road and rings them while me and Jones just piss around with the car trying to do stuff, but clearly got no clue. Sledge gets told it'l be 45 mins so we head straight to the pub and get the drinks in. Just as we are ordering sledge gets a call and is told it will only be 10 mins, and we are like shiiiipp. 10 mins later Sledge obv hasn't finished his pint and leaves to meet Mr RAC, me and Jones obviously say 'cya in a bit, were staying here to finish our pints'. We then go out to meet the Sledge and the RAC and he is just finishing and we are away.

We get about another half an hour down the road and we need to stop for petrol and food. Me and Jones the fat bastards we are, order a XL Bacon Double CheeseBurger and some awful Chicken bites whilst Sledge is sat there with these to tiny burgers that looked like arse. We then hit the Deal Or No Deal slot machine where me and Sledge wack about a 5er in each, but Sledge returned £3 so hes not too fussed with the loss. We get some MORE food from the shop, sweets, drinks etc and hit the road once again.

10 mins after hitting road, Sledge comes out with a comedy line ' Guys, u finished yet, i want some more shit'....meaning i want some more sweets. Just sounded so comedy like a little kid. But no we resisted the temptation and carry on to Cardiff.

Next stop is Wales, and as soon as we enter Cardiff we have to pay £5.10 to enter the country, what a joke! The bridge was the most balla bridge ever though, was heaven, so fair play to them.

We find our way to Cardiff but theres no sign of the road we are meant to be on Eastern Avenue i think it was. We had seen another Premier Travel Inn on the way in, but knew it wasn't that one, but decide the best option was to go there and get them to tell us the exact way. We argue about whos going in to find out the way, but me and Jones agree in the end. I asked and Jones listened as i can't possibly do both things at once, and i am clearly just nodding along to whatever the guy is telling us and hope that Jones is listening. So were on our way once again, and eventually all the right street names start popping up on our directions and we are there! fucking ship it! At long last.

We then get checked in at the Hotel and go to our rooms, Me and Jones in the same room and Sledge in the other. Massive beat, 1 double bed and 1 single bed. Jones shotguns the double and i have no way of getting out of it, and let him have it, but i get revenge later by beating the shit out of him with a huge pillow from the sofa bed.
We are too sparked from the trip and decide to play some sick Chinese before bed, Jones wins once again and beats me for about 15 points after about an hour and half or sick. We then head to bed and pass out basically straight away around 5-5.30

Next morn i wake to the alarm at half past 9, WTF! But yeah i had already arranged to play the footy and was apparently Captain and had to play. I think i fell back asleep, but wake 5 mins later to Sledge knocking on our door, so obv have to get up. I get up, get shower etc and text Kinboshi off Jones phone to ask where this football place is, and he replies back with Cardiff,lol. Best option is to ring him, and he passes me over to this ridic Welsh voice (KP) and he kinda gives me the way, but again i dont think i was listening!

Me and Sledgey make our way to the shop after trying to convince Jones to get up, but hes clearly not up for it and tells us to GFY etc. I ship some Lucozades in whilst he rings a taxi. Taxi driver has no idea where the place is, but i remember KP mentioning a street name and he knows kind of where it is.

To the football, we arrive and theres about 5 of the ITB crew there and a couple of the girls team warming up. Everyone eventually arrives and the games commence. First game we lose 4-0 to the ITB even though we dominated but couldn't score in a brothel. Next game we find our scoring boots and it ends 4-4, me scoring the first 2, shiiip. Tighty announces penalties 5 each, one of the Welsh players score and Sledge confidently steps up and smashes the ball straight at the keeper with the ultimate toebung into the keepers faces...unfortunately he got a hand there before his face,lol. Tighty then says, sudden death, 5-4 to Welsh team overall, what a con, so so sick! We play the girls and beat them 1-0, was pretty comedy, getting freekicks given against us for passing it around for at least 5 mins,lol. In the end the ITB crew win and they take it down once again, wp. We'll be back bigger and better next time!

Once again, me and Sledge get kinda fucked over by the Welsh, we leave the footy expecting there to be a phone box to ring a taxi number off(sledge left his phone at hotel and i lost mine a few weeks ago). So we wonder around for a while looking, but clearly not. We then see a guy from the footy....GATSO from Blonde and he offers us his phone, but the number we have doesn't work, we run sooo bad! He says hes driving back towards our hotel and offers a lift, we accept it and ship the lift. Again roads and us don't go together and we can't get on the road in the centre of Cardiff we need go down to get to his and our hotel. He thinks fuck it, ive done it twice already, may aswel take a third shot and drives down the buses only bit. We then find the hotels easily and he drops us off. We go back to get changed and showered for the poker and Jones is just waking up....lazy git!

So we get ready and just as we are about to leave, i feel all faint and dizzy and have to sit down for about 5 mins, no idea what was up, but was ok after that. Then we order a taxi to the casino, get there, and order a pint and some food, which tasted heaven after the mornings hard work. We then started seeing everyone, meeting people and went to buy in the the event, £50+5. The tournament started with 107 runners and after about 10 mins i see we are down to 106, someone must be out. I then get coolerd on a 6s 8s Ac flop when i hav 4s 5s, turn comes Ks, put a bet out and get re-raised, i think, i cant be bothered to fold this and made the resigned call, and he turns over the nut flush as expected, he shows Qs 10s, shiiiiiiiiiiip, and i call for chips.

Couple of hand later i get JJ utg and pop it up, rookie calls on the button as expected. Flop comes A high, we both check, turn he bets a small amount, i call, and river he bets i fold. So brudel. Then a few more hands later i find QQ mid pos pop it up to around 200, blinds 25/50, button once again flat calls and everyone else folds. Flop comes Kd 9d 4d, I have Qd and bet out 400, he flat calls, it then gets checked all way down as i guess he has the K and he flips K and i lose again.loool. Next time i pop it up i have KK and raise it up once again. A player called 'Noe' calls and the board comes J high, i bet out she calls and shows AJ, Turn and River come blank and i ship the pot in. Then i get moved tables, was enjoying the other one but no no. I see i get moved to Action Man, Turny Bongo's table etc and a few hands in i get 10 10 in the 2 hole, Action Man had limped UTG and i was pretty sure he had a monster, but i couldn't just fold could i with 6 BBs and shove for my last 2k, with blinds 150/300. It gets folded round and he obv calls and shows KK, shiiip, board no help and im out in around 90th about an hour or so in,lol. No way to try and retain my BB crown, but hey what can you do. Happy to see that Jonesy is out too, and we start necking loadsa pints and Coronas. We get speaking to everyone as they went out Bone (In pic above), Boldie, Eck etc.

We then see a £20 sng kicking off, only one seat available so i take it,lol and jones says he will deal. Cant remember exactly who was playing but some were Me, Rod, Mango, Simon Nowab, Noe, Boldie and Eck. I go outa that with AKc vs Mangos QQ.

Back to the bar for more drinks and theres a break of the tournament, and i let LittleMissC she has this one won, and will definately FT, she clearly thinks im joking, but im not. All the players get back to playing and more and more eventually drop out. Jones informs me of a £20 Omaha sng starting but i cant be botherd to play, but agree to deal for them. Sledge, Gatso, Jones, NoFlops, Tikay, Jen, Rod, Ironside and M3boy are among the players playing. Eventually down to 4 players and Jones and Gatso have no idea how they are still in and are being hilarious. Jones exclaims how he keeps getting dealt 8 high every hand. Gatso then shows him his hand and says ''I've just limped utg with that!'' and shows Jones his 8643 off suit. Jen is lagging it up and taking down every single pot nearly. Jen eventually takes it down beating NoFlops HU and Jones coming third. Sledge went out earlier on and had joined a hilarious Tighty sng where he came 3rd somehow! Said it was comedy though.

After the ridic grind of that, the main tournament is down to the final 10-15, and Fran(littlemissc) and Mel(LondonPokerGirl) are still in. We ship over to them and offer them heavenly massages and they accept. After a while we get down to the bubble, then eventually the FT, shiiip. They are both still in and somehow i see ColcKev's still in.

Short break and back to FT and Fran says i HAVE to stand behind her, to give her luck, being last times winner etc. She eventually gets it all in with 10 7 in the Sb vs the BBs AA, she flops the gutshot and hit the 9 on the river to double her up, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip! Eventually shes out in 6th, Mel out in 2nd, and..................Kev takes it down, outdrawing Mel HU, so brudel. Wp!

We then kick start another sng, only £10 this time and Fran moves all in 3 times in a row blind as shes completely hammered and dusn't give a shit. I go out in like 5th, and Chilli has to go who had been dealing and i start dealing. Jonesy eventually takes it down, destroying Sledge HU and Kinboshi came 3rd, he was heard saying it was the easiest thing ever. By this time its about half 4 in the morning and everyone is winding down and getting ready to go back to the hotel. We make our way to the hotel with, with RodParadise aswell, who Jones had agreed to let stay in the room as he was short of a bed for the night. He stays in my bed and i stay in Sledges room on his spare bed, and we pass out basically straight away.

Next morn, i wake up to Sledge saying ' you gotta get up, we gotta be out by 12'. i reply with 'yeah, i'll get right on with doing that actually'. He insta rings J and tells him the good news and J replies with the exact same line, his worst nightmare.

We all get up though surprisingly quick, and are out the hotel by around half 12. We decide to get some food and pizza hut is the best option by miles. Rod decides not to comes and hits the quiz in the future inn. We get in there and the food smells amazing and order a Large Meat Feast. shortly after ordering Gatso arrives (Left Pic) and says 'alright boys' ...he looks completely out of it from the night before. The heavenly waitress then comes over and asks if he wants anything, he replies 'probably' in a dazed voice. He then declares 'i'll have one of them' in a Andy Pipkin style voice, pointing at one of our drinks. She obviously assumes hes retarded and brings him a 'special glass' with an ice cold pepsi in. She then asks if he would like either Garlic Bread OR Potato Wedges, he replies with 'YEH' in the comedy dazed, out of it voice. The whole situation was just hilarious and made us crack up throughout.

It tasted amazing, and then made our way to the Future Inn, where the Blonde Quiz was being held. We wern't there in time, but take a seat next to Fran and Chili. We eventually get bored and decide to ask for some questions to do. Kinboshi 'the quiz master' ships up the sheet with Countries and Cities on. We get halfway through them all and we realised we all know absolutely nothing and have no idea where anything is except the Ukraine......or so we thought. As Gatso is from there we thought he would know, but even he was unsure of that and we were all jsut hoping that it would be wrong, woulda been fucking hilarious. Thankfully Gatso, DOES actually know where he lives and was delighted to find out he was right. We then get the answers and we got about 7 out of 20, pretty poor and Chilli decides she needs to actually find out where places are in the world and starts studying up. We listened out to the rest of the quiz and are pretty happy, as we would have got about 1 out of 52 or something, and would have been very embarrassing.

Next stop was the Casino for the HU torn and the Roshambo torn. Our team consisted of Me, Sledge, LeKnave, LittleMissC and ActionMan, we called ourselves HU4ROLLZ. We were pretty sure we would take this torn down, but it wasnt to be. Me and ActionMan won our HU's, but we lost 3-2 after going 2-1, so so brudel.

Then i played Mango HU at Roshambo, which i wanted to lose as we wanted to set off back home. He beats me 3-1 and im like 'shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip' lets go.

Somehow it only takes us around 4 hours to get home with no stoppages or mishaps....miracle! And we are home about 10pm.

Great trip all round and Congratz to Kev for the win, nice win Sir, and well played to the HU team Beauty and The beast for their win.

Cant wait for the next one, guessing its going to be at DTD, so it should be good.

P.s. i still run like shit at life

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Still running bad at life..

Trip report for the IPO in Ireland can be seen on LeKnaves blog (as i clearly cba to write another) , great weekend and cant wait for the next big trip.

Anyways, i run so bad at life, i lose my phone about 2 weeks ago after a hilarious night out and trip into Leeds at 6am in the morn to get breakfast whilst still hammerd. Then whilst still half asleep on way to aiport in Dublin, i leave my wallet in the back of the taxi with my money cards, everything i need in. So now i have no phone, no wallet, what next?!

Looking forward to Blonde Bash 5 next week, reigning champ has to be there!
Hopefully do well again, if not, play some sick side games and look forward to the HU torney with my team HU4ROLZ, tbh, we've already got that in the bag.

Big shout out for Brent, for his impressive 51st in the IPO, well played sir. Just a shame you couldnt take it down.

gg life

Monday, 8 October 2007


Poker Tournament

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 3580487